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Good News Express

April 1, 2007

John McCain, senior Senator from Arizona (accent very much on the “zone”), distinguished himself last week by telling Bill Bennett;, and later Wolf Blitzer;, that our first wave of five or six thousand troops have turned greater Baghdad into a garden spot of tranquility and worry-free evening strolls.

Not so much, it turns out. The WPost reports that the Green Zone has been attacked on six of the last seven days, and by Wednesday things had got so bad that:

embassy personnel received a bulletin citing the “recent increase of indirect fire attacks on the embassy compound.” It included strict instructions: Body armor and helmets would now be required for all “outdoor activities” within the sprawling embassy complex, even short walks to the cafeteria. There would be no group gatherings outside, including at the famed Palace Pool. No “nonessential” visitors would be allowed in the compound.A U.S. official in Baghdad characterized embassy personnel as “anxious and alert.”

No, wait. Does this really contradict the good Senator’s account? Perhaps what’s happened here is that we have driven so many terrorists out of the Red Zone, that they’ve been reduced to attacking us where we are most heavily fortified.

It’s like they’ve always told us. If we defeat them there, they’ll only follow us here. The trick, now that the surge has made the Red Zone safe, and driven them into our embassy, is to defeat them in the Green Zone. Then they’ll follow us to the steps of the Capitol and the Lincoln Bedroom — and we’ll finally have them just where we want them.

Now, follow the bouncing ball, and sing along with me: “Oh, the old great war, she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be…”

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